What to send someone who has lost their mother
Send something that keeps her present: her photograph in a memorial lantern, a memory book where the family can write down her story, or a card that says her name and one thing you remember about her. Practical help in the first weeks, and a note on Mother’s Day and her birthday, matter just as much.
Gift ideas
- A memorial lantern with her photograph. A lantern written for a mother, with her face behind the glass and a candle that lights it in the evening.
- A memory book about her. Her life story, the family tree, the things she always said, her favorite things, photographs and recordings of her voice, written by the people who knew her.
- Something in her hand. A recipe card, a letter or a note in her handwriting, framed.
- A photograph of her you took. Families rarely have enough pictures of the person who took most of them.
- Practical help. Meals, errands, or an afternoon helping to sort through her things when they are ready, not before.
What to write
Use her name, or the name they called her. Say one thing you remember, even a small one.
I’m so sorry about your mom. I still think about the Sunday lunches at her table, and how she made sure nobody left hungry.
I never met your mother, but I’ve heard you talk about her for years. I’m thinking of you.
The days that come later
The first Mother’s Day, her birthday and the anniversary of her death are often harder than the weeks right after the funeral, and by then most people have stopped asking. A short message on those days, or a small gift, tells your friend that you remember her too.
The STILLWIND Mom lantern
Our Mom design carries a verse written to a mother, with a single flower, on the front glass. It comes as a wood lantern with a copper or black crown, and as a slimmer metal lantern in black or white. A 4×6 photograph of her slides in behind the flameless candle, and the velvet-lined drawer keeps a ring, a letter or a watch. It arrives gift-boxed with a sympathy card, and comes with the free Still With Me Starter Book, so the family can write her story together.
Questions
Is the Mom lantern only for a daughter?
No. It is written to a mother, so it suits a daughter or a son, and anyone for whom she was a mother in all but name.
What if I did not know their mother?
Write about your friend instead: that you know how much she meant to them, and that you are thinking of them. A lantern still works, because they choose the photograph that goes inside.
Can I send it straight to them?
Yes. Enter their address at the Amazon checkout. It arrives in a gift box with a sympathy card, so it does not need wrapping.